MY DREAM DIARY DESU
2023:
April |
May |
June |
July |
August |
November |
December
2022:
April |
July |
August |
September |
October |
November
I just woke up from a cool dream. I was in an Algebra II class,
in one of those portable trailer classrooms. Flipping through textbook pages,
the work was easy enough. The teacher gave us some assignments to do in-class
before homework. I noticed that my textbook had a problem with it: things kept
falling out, objects and creatures. It was mostly little bugs
and flowers and toy cars but when I opened it to a certain page, a big dog came
out! It was a pit bull mix. It cuddled up to me and I gave it lots of pets. My
teacher happened to bring their dog, too, a golden retriever. The book-born pit
bull and retriever played nice, at first, but both began to snarl. I managed to
hold the pit bull back until class ended, then carried the dog out to take home.
It was after school now and I tried to carry the dog to the parking lot, to
wait for mom and dad, but a security guard came up to me. He made me place the
dog in my backpack. When I got to the parking lot, I opened up my backpack and
had to search deep inside for the pit bull. There she was! She was sleeping and
when I pulled her out, she woke up and rolled over. I was so excited to have
a new dog that I woke up then.
SEPTEMBER 24, 2022
I had a nice dream last night during the pleasant 16 hour slumber. I was in my
backyard in the early morning. The grass and shrubbery was taller than usual,
hard to see through, and even more shrouding was the thick pea soup fog rolling
along like cloudy whisps. It was perhaps 5:30AM when the sun is only just about
to arrive. There I walked through the dew-damp blades of earthen carpet, the
moon at one angle and the sun at the other. I was in between worlds: day and
night, comfort and fright, reality and dreams. I sat down by the tall stump of
a pine tree, unable to keep my bearings straight, when all of a sudden a pale
face appeared in the mist before me. It was an apparition, not exactly there
but... right in front of me. It was a little boy who seemed to fade in and out
of the mist, first here, then there; and he had no eyes. Instead there was just
a perpetual expression vacillating between a cheerful grin: one of hope, and a
distant mournful gaze at nothing in particular, or at some kind of horizon.
I should have been scared. This could have easily been a nightmare. But I felt
pity for the ghostly boy and a longing to tell him it was okay. Reaching out,
I patted his head and I could hear him tell me thank you without the words. His
expression of joy came back, staying, and he started to dance around me. The
fog cleared as well, though patches remained, and the morning sun began to peek
through. Among the patches were ghosts of uncountable variety: horseback
riders keen in the saddle, women in long dresses, dogs and cats and goats, and
warriors with swords. They stretched themselves thin in the divide between the
living and dead, elongated this way and that by the nebulous tether of an
autumn's dawn. All of them drifted in the same direction, ceaselessly staring
ahead toward the same path the boy was taking. I reached out to an old man and
his dog, taking the former by the shoulders into an embrace and the latter
a ruffle of the ears. They broke from the spell the boy was under and looked at
me with a playful ecstasy.
That's when I woke up. I had more dreams but before I drifted off, I wondered
who they were. Were they real? It felt the same as lighting up the eyes of any
waking, living person. When I give someone a hug or a compliment or a gift, I
see the same thing. There's a connection made you can't quantify or hardly even
qualify. It's a sixth sense, really. All I know is that I wasn't afraid and the
boy, the old man, and the dog all seemed enormously grateful for their
encounter with me. If only I could have met the other ghosts...
Had a horrible dream. At the beginning, it was pretty cool. I was in a
college IT class. I already knew half the material so it was going to
be an easy semester. The teacher was cool and the girl in front of me
wanted help and asked me. She was really pretty and friendly in a way
that made me feel like I had a shot. Every student had a laptop out
and mine was an old Thinkpad. I played some PC version of Tony Hawk
on it that one of my friends "B" gave me. That's when I was called to
the principal's office on the PA. I packed up and headed over there.
Now I was in my high school but it looked like my middle school. The
principal told me they detected my Tony Hawk game and realized I was
a top skater in the game (one of the best in the country), so they
put me in special gifted classes for gamers. The principal
looked like my
middle school social studies teacher, too, Mr.
Lucinian. Anyway, I was sent to a room
with a ton of arcade machines, including Tony Hawk. A bunch of other
kids, some of them anime characters like Amanda from Little Witch
Academia, were there. They were impressed by my high scores but
skeptical. Of course they should have been, for I hadn't made the score
but my friend "B" did! To get out of the program, I yelled at and made
a threat to the teacher then ran out of the classroom/arcade when the
period ended.
Lost in the shuffle of the crowd, security couldn't get to me. I made
a turn down the hall and at the entrance of the school. It was time to
ditch! I ran off down the street with another kid that was ditching.
We made it to some trees down the sidewalk that could hide us and joked
about it all. He was a kid from my elementary school that I hadn't
thought of in years. We found ourselves not far away at the abandoned
building of the old high school (which doesn't exist IRL) and wanted to
explore. It was a cloudy, dark afternoon, with the sun hiding.
This is where it took a turn for the worse. We weren't trying to be
sneaky here because there shouldn't have been any teachers or security
or anyone, really, so we just played around looking at broken furniture
like desks outside. The windows were boarded up. I said it would be a
cool place to stay overnight. Just then, we came to the main outdoor
hallway. There was a swinging bench and on it, a macaque monkey smoking
a cigarette. We laughed but the monkey just looked at us with a glaze
in its eye; very creepy. Behind him my companion and I gasped when
there was some homeless guy sleeping. We tried to back away but he woke
up and attacked my friend with two tazers he had hidden. He came after
me but I couldn't run, so it was time to fight. I had to get my friend
out of there. A black homeless
guy silently watched us and was too crazy
or high to do anything. The tazers were supposed to be modified to
really zap you but I felt nothing, thankfully, and wrestled the
assailant. He was strangely weak and I got behind him a bit, with a
chokehold around his neck. Like in movies, I straind my muscles to
twist his neck as far and hard to the side as I could. He didn't have
much strength and I could feel the tendon ripping. It was a horrible
feeling as he started to go limp, twitching, and I knew I had killed
or paralyzed him. That's when I woke up in a panic. It was an okay
dream at first, kinda fun, but it ended so horribly. It reminded me of
a dream where there was a burglar trying to get in through my backyard
patio and I stabbed him over and over again in the gut. I'll never
forget the look in his eye. These were some of the most vivid dreams I
ever had, outside of those feverish nightmares in youth and I hope I
never, ever, ever have to kill anyone for real...
AUGUST 19, 2022
Weird dream alert! First, I was walking along the edge of an enormous,
square grass park. It was a flat field, nothing more or less, but it
was simply huge. It had to have been 1/2 a mile on each side of the
square. For some reason school took place here and I carried with me
a doll. I'd pass groups of kids, cliques of friends, busy in their
own little worlds with no time for me. There was nowhere I fit in.
A bell rang (very distant of course) and it meant class. It seemed
there were at least a hundred students scattered across this huge
field, all heading to the same side where the school was. I did too,
but this guy and his girlfriend started harrassing me, insulting me,
trying to trip me. I got flustered and they took the doll I carried.
I chased after them into a tunnel and out the other side of the
field, ignoring the bell. I was going to be late but I demanded to
have my doll back and was going to pound the snot of the guy. That's
when I woke up.
In the second dream, it was very late to the point of being morning.
The clock said 4:50 AM. I had been alone in my house all night and,
waiting for my classmates to arrive. The house functioned
as a group home in some capacity. I had to take a dump and
was anxious that they would arrive when I was on the toilet; nature
called and I went anyway. Afterwards, no one showed up still so I took
a shower, too, and shaved. It was still dark outside. Then, when I
went into the kitchen, a wave of powerful, mind-numbing fear washed
over me. My dream-self ran to his room, crippled by this sudden onset
of terror, but my dream-eye went to find the source. It was in the
oven: a slightly undercooked strip of bread, a bit soggy to the touch,
with a single, large eyeball and bread tentacles. It was unformed,
weak, and dying. The sole source of its sustenance lay in the
consumption of pleasant dreams, disgesting them, and spitting out
nightmares! The being also had a cult that would find suitably
nutritious dreams for it and lead the monster to them. Apparently
the creature was poisoned by my dream, though, and I could hear the
voices of the cult arguing with each other over what to do. They
said they must feed their leader a tiny dose of poison in order to
force his body to expel the greater poison, but then argued that that
would be treason to poison their idol and master. It was all very
strange and I woke up after that.
Had a dream where I was in my backyard after a heavy rain (not far from what
actually happened recently) except there were more trees and big leaves
covering the ground. Mushrooms had sprouted up in a few places, like fairy
rings. There was a stump where the old apple tree used to be and when I looked
up from it, the neighbor's fences were simply gone! Mom was near me and we
decided to explore the neighbor's yard. Their houses were gone too. It was just
a big, open grassy field with lots of trees, from figs to willows to ashes to
oaks, dotting the green and verdant landscape. There was a young oak that had a
strange bark to it. I told mom I hardly see oaks like this where it's not too
big to climb but just big enough that the branches will hold me. Instead of
climbing, I squatted down to look in a big cozy hole under the oak tree,
thinking there would be a rabbit, but instead, out popped my precious little
puppy dog, Helga, who died a few months ago! I pet her and told mom to hurry
and come see, that she was still alive, that she had just run away and been
hiding in a little hobbit hole for dogs. I wasn't sure but I saw a flash of
another animal in the burrow with darker fur and it was probably my other dog
who died a number of years ago, too (Hans) keeping her company. Upon waking up,
I started to cry. I think I went to heaven in my dream...
JULY 31, 2022
Had quite a few interesting dreams that I will do my best to remember. In one,
I was at a grocery store late at night looking at stuff in the freezer section.
Mom was with me at the checkout. As we were leaving, a man in line behind us
looked just like my dad, who died IRL! I begged my mom to stay and let me talk
to him. I was very sad when I woke up, as you can imagine...
The second dream was at a shopping mall. These are only fragments, you see,
just the memorable stuff at the end of an REM cycle. We all dream quite
extensively and forget the majority of it unless we have trained our memories
well. Anyway, I remember being at this mall, on the second floor, looking down
at the first floor. It's this big open square with railing around the stairs and
escalator. There were dozens of people standing at there, facing the open
square. Each, in turn, said something. It was like a wave. And the weirdest
thing is they would repeat their gestures and posture at the same time!
I figured it out: they were real life bots. Not robots, just... bots, like the
ones online that spam forums and imageboards with ads, links, and propaganda.
I decided to physically stand in front of a bot-person in order to interrupt
their circular discussion, but it's like the "circuit" skipped that bot to the
one next to me. So, I waited for it to come around again and pushed two or
three bots in a sort of rhythm, which caused the bot line to completely freeze.
Just as I was laughing at how funny it was, the bots grew angry...
Last dream was just a tiny fragment. I went to a department store of some kind
with a school class at night time. It was supposed to be closed but we went in
anyways. It was rather eerie, just us and the mannequins and dim lighting.
People put on the clothes, looked at records, while I went to the book and
video game section to see what was available. The store had
loose GBA games. I get handheld games in my dreams a lot, usually where I'm
tempted to steal them. That's about it. Those were my dreams.
Had a weird dream (finally I can put one on here). I don't remember most of it
but I was in my kitchen with a number of strangers and MM was in my
den. He had given each of us some kind of personalized writing that was very
important. Everyone left except MM, and I started frantically
reading. It was long, almost 100 pages, with a few illustrations in between
chapters. There was space alien stuff, that they exist but
in a completely different capacity than we believe. It was something to do with
every individual realizing why we are here and then "moving on" like previous
inhabitants of Earth. MM has said something to this capacity before when he
wrote about the Muses and gods and guardian angels but the dream took it
further. Then he wrote about his impressions of me personally. I asked him in
the dream what he meant and he said I said all the right things but that
something was "off", and I finished his sentence: strange, uncanny, eerie. I
told him I wondered sometimes if something happened before or right after I was
born that broke something critical in me but as I explained, the door bell
rang. MM said this was my chance. I opened it and saw the following:
- A little girl that was covered up, like she had a deformity underneath,
saying something about the 100th anniversary of Tarzan
- A bird, maybe a parakeet, in a cage with a blanket over it
- A man or woman, hard to tell darkly lit, asking for help to stay in my
house with me
What the hell? I woke up at this point and immediately thought this was too
weird and too symbolic to forget, so I wrote this. Was my Muse speaking to me?
Are they telling me something I need to know? One other thing: in his writing
for me, MM said I was too comfortable or something to that effect. He
wished more people had the privelege to experience poverty at some point. To
some degree that is something he might say, albeit exaggerated. That lifestyle
perhaps gives you the insight needed to know what is important, what matters
most. The rich really are handicapped in that sense. He said in the dream
writing "Jesus, every Easter Sunday, should give everyone poverty". I have no
idea how much of this dream was just a dream or if there was something in it
intended to be a message. I will puzzle it out.
APRIL 5, 2022
Slept 12 hours! First dream was in a big park field where it was warm and
sunny. People were walking their dogs. My oldest brother was there and said to
watch out, someone was walking two hyenas. Sure enough, there were two hyenas
on leashes. They did not seem feral at all. Then, a boy named Ryan from
elementary school showed up with $10,000 cash in his wallet. We walked through
a sketchy street downtown talking about what we would spend it on. Some hobos
started fighting each other and cops came. We ran in the chaos but straight
into the arms of these truckers. They had been following us since the field and
started the fight to distract the police. Taking the money, they knocked us out
and dumped us into a supermarket warehouse. This is when I woke up. I had this
dream before; it leads to a much longer dream where Ryan is gone and I wander
the downtown stores looking for change for a payphone to call my mom. I
eventually steal a cellphone and call her in a library.
Second dream was odd. I had made another RPG Maker game that was very
controversial. Looking through comments, the Youtuber Markiplier had liked it
though so I argued online with people that it was not as bad as they thought if
he liked it. (I have never watched a Markiplier video in my life, strangely).
This led to Elon Musk visiting my family for an evening so we could drive him
to the airport. We came in the through the garage and my mom came home too. She
cooked him a nice dinner and my dad arrived by then so we all ate together. I
asked him if he could stay the night but he said he was too busy of course and
was flattered by our hospitality. I think he was a history teacher at my high
school in the dream and mentioned something about a grade. I do not like Tesla
cars and Neuralink is pure evil, so what the heck was this dream?
Third dream was spooky, likely because the fan was blowing on me IRL (when I
get cold at all, it tends to cause bad dreams). It was twilight in the backyard
and a group of UFO hunters were out with telescopes, looking at the mountain
tops. I could not see anything but they insisted there were UFOs in the peaks.
It got really foggy all of a sudden so we went inside. We had a family dinner
with lots of extended family, then government agents appeared to tell us NOT to
go to the mountain, which we had planned on doing. There was more to it but I
cannot remember. I think I was reading something in the news about upcoming
food shortages because of a bill called the "Ford-Gordon Bill" that had some
effect on... what? Gas? Supply chain? Farms?
APRIL 4, 2022
It was a hard night where I drifted off and woke up very quickly over and
over again. Caffeine from Diet Dr. Pepper is the likely culprit. First dream
fragment was with my mom in the kitchen. She was making a meal and I was still
a child and annoying her, making the cooking difficult. Walking into the den,
my dad was asleep in his chair. He called me over and told me to stop
tormenting my mom. I felt sorry and also knew he was dead, so I wanted him to
tell me more. Leaning in close to his face, everything went black and his voice
became deep and scary; he said if I torment my mom again to not go in the
kitchen at night time. This woke me up and I was afraid to leave my room for a
few hours so I forced myself to sleep.
The next dream fragments were very short: one was with some man in the backyard
who had two bulldogs. I pet them and they rolled over for tummy tubs. The
second one was me browsing a website about some actor named Kieran something
and a discussion thread about him. It did not make any sense. There was
something about cameras from the 2000s having a "flu filter" over them.
First dream, all I remember is being in an apartment I have never actually
been in. I take a shower but my grey cat is in the bathtub. She ignores the
shower water and just sits there. The tub drain is clogged and the water starts
to build up. I think to myself how I have been here before in a dream, which
does not create any lucid feeling because I still think it is real. There is a
plastic bag with Diet Coke cans in it floating in the tub. It feels very
unsanitary and so I wake up.
Second dream is a repeat from a week ago, maybe a month, that takes place in a
haunted house. It is like an RPG where me and other people are taking a tour
but we have to fight ghosts and goblins. Every room has secret clues for quests
and hidden treasure and food. It is a truly amazing experience, like an actual
real life RPG! One room is a haunted bar, with the ghosts of former patrons
still drinking and eating, and I search the shelves for useful items and cash.
Oh, my grandma (dad's side) is with me too! And enjoys watching me have fun
there, though she is not playing along.
The third dream is in the swimming pool. I am swimming while my dad just
watches, with his feet dangling in. Where there is normally a hole that water
comes in to fill the pool is now a big drainage hole! It has a cap on it of
course, about a metre wide. Suddenly, the cap pops off and you can see it
connects to the sewer. I freak out and the cap floats really fast towards me.
Rushing out of the pool, I watch as gross stuff leaks out into it.
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