Mustard Dog Rating: Low Value Don't get me wrong: the plain mustard dog is tasty. Is it worth buying at Wienerschnitzel instead of making yourself at home with your choice of bun and weenie? No. It's too simple so don't bother getting these.
	Corn Dog Rating: High Value These are the true winners of American fast food. I have never had a bad experience at Wienerschnitzel, which can't be said of any other franchise out there; and among those experiences, the most flawless specimen up for sale is the old fashioned corn dog. If you are lucky, you get a really hot, fresh one that's more crisp than soft, but either way you are in for a treat. So many memories come back to me when I have these.
	Chili Dog Rating: High Value The chili dog, while not as humble as the corn dog, is a close contender for the staple food of choice. It's messy. It's goyslop of the most abysmal kind. And it's delicious! Hit me up with a plate of chili dogs any day of the week. They go down like sliders (and they come out just as slippery too). My only complaint is how salty they are, which dries me up like the Gobi desert.
	Texas BBQ Dog Rating: Low Value Uh, these are gross. The dog is fine, and the onion and bacon pieces are somewhat redeemable, but the BBQ sauce is sickly sweet. It coats your mouth and is simply disgusting. Avoid this at all costs. Don't even try it.
	Junkyard Dog Rating: Medium Value This is the pinnacle of 21st century slop engineering. You cannot find me a more perfectly designed piece of shit than this bad motherfucker. It will ooze out mustard and cheese and chili all over you, the fries are gonna fall out onto your shirt and pants, and you will feel sick and bloated after finishing but one of these monuments to mankind's hubris. But it's gonna taste so fucking good. It's worth it when you really hate yourself and want to shave a couple weeks or months off your potential lifespan.