Skyrim is wasted potential: the game. I haven't played previous
Elder Scrolls as long (maybe 3-4 dozen hours), but my impressions
are that ALL TES games are wasted potential. They seem to remove
interesting but old ideas while adding new ones, but it is
unmistakable how players lose more than they gain. The scope and
scale is so large that Bethesda obviously cut corners and I
don't think it was worth it. Morrowind was almost entirely
hand-crafted, Oblivion was randomly generated once then adjusted,
and Skyrim... I don't know how it was made. But it isn't good.
I have put a lot of hours into it over the years and I just can't
call it good. Is it bad? That is up to the individual.
This is Chad when he started his adventure
A funny glitch where the beheaded witch's corpse was
standing up
The graphics aren't "dated" like some weirdos seem to think. They're
PS3-tier which looks the same as anything modern to me. Not only
are graphics a useless measure of a game's quality, but it all
looks the same! This is probably more of a problem with art
style and design. It's "Game of Thrones" like. The only visually
intersting parts of Skyrim are the Riften region, Markarth, some
Dwemer ruins, Blackreach, Tel Mithryn, Castle Volkihar, and uh,
maybe Hermaeus Mora's world Apocrypha. Those stand out in memory
where I stopped and thought "This is pretty cool". I wish the
entire game was like that. The music was bland and boring and
I can't remember any of it, unlike the Morrowind music you get to
experience on Solstheim. Now THAT was a fun little island! It
was still a buggy mess of a place but, since I saved the Dragonborn
expansion for last, it immediately soothed my irritation.
Without the music, maybe I wouldn't feel that way.
Chef Chad, the False Gourmet
Voice acting... is pretty bad. It's not Oblivion-tier but as one anon put
it, "It's like Groundhog's day in schizoland". The same lines,
over and over and over, the same NPC interactions, everyone turns
their head and looks right at you, constantly... it's paranoia
producing and really feels like a huge hallucination. It is
annoying and unnerving. Voice acting needs to go. They could make
these games SO much bigger, with more budget for useful things,
if they didn't have voices. Or they could use fan labor for free.
All it takes is a "submit your voice!" contest, then they pay
for a plane ticket (if in the US) and have you record lines for
free. There are plenty of cheap/free/no-names that could do a
better performance than some of these chumps. I could provide at
least something, even. Anyone could. And there are millions of
fans who would be thrilled to take part in TES VI, with their
name on the credits.
It's not what you think, I swear!
Quests are mostly boring but there are a few that stand out. Some
of the Daedric Prince ones were nice, like the Sam Guyenne one. I
liked the last section of the Dawnguard vampire quests where you
get Auriel's Bow. That Forgotten Vale was a neat area and felt
somewhat like a proper dungeon. The Dragonborn quests are less
hit-or-miss but I can't tell, again, if it's the music and
atmosphere biasing me. The southern section is WAY more
intersting of course. It's sad to know there aren't many Silt
Striders left... The College of Winterhold quests were pretty
bad and it makes no sense to make me the Archmage. The Thieves
Guild was decent but again, why am I Guild Master? Brynjolf was
WAY more deserving. Even Karliah is a better choice. The Civil
War and Main quests are just awful and I was constantly thinking
about playing other games the whole time. The Battle of Whiterun
was the only highlight, maybe infiltrating the Thalmor Embassy
too. The Dark Brotherhood was decent and there's a reason you
end up running it - because you're the Listener. Cicero was cool,
and Babette is a vampire loli. The Bard's College was
one of the worst questlines I've EVER experienced. Utterly awful.
Whoever was in involved making it should feel ashamed. I've played
random, single-dev RPG Maker games more fun and compelling than
the Bard's College. Hell, my own RPGMaker games are better than that!
Vampire Chad
Chad showing off his big, swollen arms
After 3 or 4 bandit lairs/draugr crypts, I am DONE. They are just boring loops,
with meaningless hazards, copy-pasted over and over and over again. Dwemer
ruins may be a bit copy-pasted, but at least the aesthetics don't get stale,
and they sometimes lead to those huge indoor-outdoor areas, like Blackreach
(I think that is what it was called). I think having 1 or 2 areas like that is
nice, but no more. It would get old after that. Even then, it is not good
dungeon design, in my opinion. I only played a dozen hours of it, but
Daggerfall's dungeons are the gold standard for TES games. They are absolute
nightmares, randomly generated, and the hazards actually make it feel like
dangerous. I would like to see future Elder Scrolls games include these
labyrinth-style dungeons. This would require a few new skills, though, and
should bring back climbing and swimming and jumping, as well as more
navigation spells. Working language skills would be even more fun. Imagine
learning Daedric over many in-game years by using Calm to trick daedra, found
only in random rooms in random dungeons, into talking. Eventually, when
there's a quest that leads you into Oblivion and a Daedric Prince sends his
minions after you, you can convince them to turn on their master! Or you could
learn Giant and find one of those Giant villages in the mountains and there
are hidden quests to side with them over some Nords or Orcs or something.
One of those Battle-born guys feeling up the corpse of a
slaughtered Miraak cultist
I really don't like skills in Skyrim. Only some perk trees had
interesting and unique changes. Smithing was really boring, for
example. Thief skills, in general, seemed more fleshed out and
fun than the others, hence the Stealth Archer meme. It's not a
meme. It's the only way to do real, consistent damage and have
"fun" with the combat, now that magic is, well, sad. Shouts have
great powers, but you know the next TES there won't be shouts
because there won't be Dragonborn! So a really fun feature will
be gone. I hope to see more ways of traveling the world, both
physical and magical (coinciding with the removal of free travel
and map markers), as well as more weapon skills like Unarmed and
Spears. Morrowind spears were AWESOME! I really hoped in Skyrim
to be some Nord, wrapped in fur, carrying an ivory-carved spear
and a bone necklace. I think there should be 5 perks per skill,
max, and some should be mutually exclusive with others, so it
actually feels like a "build". Also, bring back attributes. It is
so soul-sucking how leveling up feels. Oblivion sucked with
level ups too but wow, they made it feel even worse in Skyrim.
Red bar, green bar, blue bar, HMMM? Which one should I choose?!
So fun!
Chad could tell Runa would be a strong womyn some day,
unlike the rest of the orphan milk-drinkers
Chad bugged out and couldn't start the dwarf aetherium
quest, so I had to make a new character, an Imperial
battle-mage named Agnes
Lastly, I haven't tried Survival mode, the mod that I
guess is chosen to be official. Let me know if you think it was
fun. I think it could be if you throw away all the questing
nonsense and try to make the game a life sim. Chopping wood,
buying bread, fishing, saving up for a house, getting married,
all while needs to actually eat and sleep. If TES VI doesn't
return to its RPG roots, I hope it at least excels in the life
sim avenue. The blueprints for something amazing are there, it
just needs to be fleshed out. Nearly every NPC should be marriage
material, with their own quests or favors and "difficulty" to
convince. I don't particularly like her, but why isn't Serana
able to get married? Widows should be easy pickings, too. Imagine
brewing up a poison, using it on the village blacksmith so he
dies discreetly, then swooping in to take his wife. Also, they
need to get over themselves about children. Either don't include
them at all (like previous games) or say fuck you to the
controversy. Chopping people up is okay and encouraged, murder
and thievery, but kids... no? It's either all bad or none of it
is. Let players be bad guys. At the very least, imagine taking a
widow like my scenario above and then kicking out her kids,
sending them to an orphanage. It would require a very high
Charisma check, maybe even having a Sex skill,
convincing her "in bed". This would make
the games AO rated and is the OPPOSITE direction the series is
going. Soon it will be Peter Pan fun-time in Hammerfell or
whatever. Daggerfall was the last time there was any real lewd
stuff. Bring it back! You shouldn't have to rely on mods.
And finally, Chad settled down with Mjoll, living happily
ever after with her, Runa, Iona in his Honeyside Manor in
Riften
What Skyrim has taught me is that a video game can be but also
fun, thus making it worth playing. Good games can also be boring,
and only worth playing in order to appreciate craftsmanship. Truly
awful games are terribly designed AND boring (most modern stuff).
|
